he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
