Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
last night I used snow as a chaser
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
