Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
