Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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