So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
