Me too!
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Randomize
