I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
