I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
So vagazzling was a success
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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