yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
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Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
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There's a naked man in my car right now.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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