you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
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Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
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At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
The air taste purple.
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