I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
