1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize
