Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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