I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
