Soap is not a condiment
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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