Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
