HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
