I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
