If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
