So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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