sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
