it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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