I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
