She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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