Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
