is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
