there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
