Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
