OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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