i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
