I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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