Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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