I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
