whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize