I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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