I wish life had little blips of pornography
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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