My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
