My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
