Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
