I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
