I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
and you fell through a lawn chair
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
