You're my little dorito
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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