i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
last night I used snow as a chaser
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
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