ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
