I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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