I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the condom got lost in my hair
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
