It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
