Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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