I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
