BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
