We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
