i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
