He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
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