i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
