I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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