Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
