she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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