also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
