Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
