and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
