remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
