the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
