Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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