plz talk dirty to me
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
