Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
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Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
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How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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