possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
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How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
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I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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