I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
