is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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