and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize