In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
