Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
