She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
