Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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