we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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