Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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