garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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