your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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